Frauditioning

for the truly lovely auditioners Miranda, Clare, Chloe, and Cara

Chlaranda C., oh she wanted to be
the very best girl in the very best play.
She sang and she danced, she smiled and pranced
to prepare to audition today.

The day now was here, and twas perfectly clear
how delightful she'd be when she sang for the crowd.
They'd clap and shout out, beaming smiles about
proclaiming her talent out loud.

When she walked in the door, she began to feel poor
as she saw girls of all shapes and sizes.
The tall and the cute will be given the boot
when her singing the judge hypnotizes.

She laughed and she smiled, and thought to herself,
"Chlaranda, my girl, I know you will be
the very best girl in the very best play!
The judge over there will love none but me!".

Her moment, it came, but not as she thought.
Her hands were all shaky, her belly all quaky.
The judge, like a hawk, noticed each wretched squawk.
They all thought their eardrums would breaky.

The poor silly girl, with a smile and twirl
kept dreaming what part she would be.
Her hopes crashed down, right down to the ground,
when she was given the part of--the tree.

Chlaranda C., she's going to be
the very best tree in the very best play.
No singing, no talking, not even walking
Just rooted, over there--out of the way.

My Pa, Not A Tall Tale

My Pa is so full of interest and charm,
He recently tried to cut off one arm.

His mind is with humor and oddity hung,
and you barely notice he's missing one lung.

We all see his personality from afar,
except that one guy who hit him with his car.

As a young man  they thought him quite weird,
for the simple fact that he was wearing a beard.

He has been known to come home with a monkey,
his dirty socks are incredibly funky.

One important fact is striking this morning,
I'd better be sure to issue a warning.

Any time Pa makes a sandwich of onion,
all, young and old, had better get run-ion.

Yes, I know it's Valentine's Day and this is perfectly unromantic of me to post this.  My Pa is coming for a quick visit today, though, and I just couldn't resist.  Besides, my Mom will read this and get to think of all his charms while she's celebrating her Valentine's Day at home without him today.

The Children's Hour

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Between the dark and the daylight,
When the night is beginning to lower,
Comes a pause in the day's occupations, 
That is known as the Children's Hour.


I hear in the chamber above me
The patter of little feet,
The sound of a door that is opened,
And voices soft and sweet.


From my study I see in the lamplight,
Descending the broad hall stair,
Grave Alice, and laughing Allegra,
And Edith with golden hair.


A whisper, and then a silence:
yet I know by their merry eyes
They are plotting and planning together
To take me by surprise.


A sudden rush from the stairway,
A sudden raid from the hall!
By three doors left unguarded
They enter my castle wall!


They climb up into my turret
O'er the arms and back of my chair;
If I try to escape, they surround me;
They seem to be everywhere.


They almost devour me with kisses,
Their arms about me entwine,
Till I think of the Bishop of Bingen 
In his Mouse-Tower on the Rhine!


Do you think, o blue-eyed banditti,
Because you have scaled the wall,
Such an old mustache as I am
Is not a match for you all!


I have you fast in my fortress,
And will not let you depart,
But put you down into the dungeon
In the round-tower of my heart.


And there will I keep you forever,
Yes, forever and a day,
Till the walls shall crumble to ruin,
And moulder in dust away!


This reminds me so much of Daddy coming home!  What a sweet picture of fatherhood!

The Catsup Bottle

(A poem for those of us who have stared at a Heinz 57 bottle and have kept tapping the 57 imprint to get some to come out.  Does that really work???)

by Ogden Nash

Plop...plop...gush.

First a little
Then a lottle.

Grandkids Are Worth It!

    Here's another poem by my Mom!                     

When families stayed close, get-togethers were no trouble,

But modern times force grandma to be a new kind of noble.

Life in the fast lane requires grandfolks to be mobile.

But grandkids are worth it!

If you haven't seen grandkids for many months,

If they're homesick for you, don't be a dunce.

Hop in your car, no matter the distance.

Natalie is worth it!

Don't sit around and whine for them, or pout.

It's just ridiculous for you to go without.

Once you're there, they'll meet you at the door with a shout!

And Jamie is worth it!

If the place where they live is very, very far,

Be thankful that someone invented the car.

Traveling, for grandparents, is now only par.

But Katherine is worth it!

If it's been so long you are going berserk,

Be grateful you no longer have to work.

Get a move on - a grandchild-fix is a wonderful perk.

Cara is certainly worth it!

If you miss your family even a little tad,

Don't mope around, increasingly sad.

Be glad these days it's not bad to gad.

And Scott is definitely worth it!

Your kids far away don't mean to deprive.

They figure you're up to a day or two drive.

You don't have to beg, or wheedle, or connive.

Because Andrew is worth it!

If you're feeling as bored as a stationary plant

And you MUST have a visit, and they obviously can't,

Hallelujah that modern grandparents gallivant!

You know Allison is worth it!

If your husband tells you you are losing your grip,

I'd advise a long journey at double-time clip.

What you need is a grandbaby-withdrawal trip.

Titus is totally worth it!

If you're suddenly informed there will be a new baby,

You'd better get moving, wherever they may be.

Go see 'em right now! And I don't mean maybe!

Baby Reeder is worth it!

If they've all gone so fast, you don't know which way they went,

And it won't be enough if a picture fax is sent,

Just don't drive so fast you get into an accident!

Jozef is worth it!

Lonesomeness is something you needn't reconcile.

Even though the trip may take quite a while,

They'll be cheering for you as you fly mile by mile.

Amos is worth it!

If you find yourself at some point nestless,

And your days and hours are exceedingly restless,

Drive on till their house just over the crest is.

Hannah is worth it!

If your days drag on in silent desperation,

Think of the kids - there's no better motivation.

Get packed and press on to your eastern destination.

Nicole is worth it!

If you just have to hug and squeeze your little pixie,

Your children won't have the heart to say nix, see?

A visit is great medicine, and I ain't whistlin' Dixie!

Scott is worth it!

If the pictures galore are just not enough comfort,

And you or they need a childlike cavort,

Get your husband and fly, walk, drive, or transport.

Michelle is worth it!

If your spouse is becoming morbidly terse,

Or you're thinking the quietness can't possibly be worse,

Then the miles between kids and you, you must quickly traverse.

Sarah is worth it!

Even if they're busy, it's all right to inquisite.

It's not as if you're asking the moon, is it?

Please, please, please may we come for a visit?

And Andy is worth it!

Wherever your kids and grandkids call home,

Whether you must drive to Tallahassee or Nome,

Grab your toothbrush, coffee cup, and comb,

And take off! Grannies today have to roam!

And family is worth it!

Strategic Compulsory Visitation or How to Get Your Kids to Come and See You

by my Mom (This is scarily true...Sheesh!)

If, to see your newest grandchild you are wishin',

Send your offspring on a long distance expedition.

We'll share our plan to bring the thing about,

And you'll discover whether you have any clout.

Now this is the truth- It is not perjury-

All you have to do is to schedule a surgery.

 

If your youngest grandson has you besotted,

Have the doctor roto-rooter your carotid.

If your smiley granddaughter needs to be brung,

Just tell the surgeon to remove your lung.

If your namesake has your birthday baby stolen,

Merely go in the hospital and bisect your colon.

 

Whether you're aching to see your son or daughter,

Remember that blood is thicker than water!

Sonnets for February

The older I get, the more I realize that getting older is really not for wimps.  There is so much hardship and loss and pain, but there is still love...deeper love.  A love that lasts through the good times and bad is such a solace.  Nourishing and developing your love is always worth it.

I hope you all had as lovely a Valentine's Day as my sweetheart and I did.  Even with morning sickness and a broken back, it's so sweet to be together!

XXX


When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear times' waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unus'd to flow,
For precious friends hid in death's dateless night.
And weep afresh love's long-since cancell'd woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanish'd sight.
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
  But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
  All losses are restor'd, and sorrows end.


Have a great weekend, everyone!

Sonnets for February

Well, let's continue the sonnet trend, shall we?  After all, Valentine's Day is next week!

Here's another by Shakespeare that I really relate to.  My husband and I are both poor, but there's plenty of love to go around.  Loving has its own rewards.

XXIX
When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,--and then my state
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;
  For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings,
  That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

Sonnets for February

Yes...we're officially in the month of romance!  I thought it would be nice to delve into some Shakespearean sonnets for the season.  It's both romantic and educational.  I've been rereading many of them lately, and have been surprised how moving they are.  I think the last time I read them was shortly after my husband and I became engaged (insert sigh), but the sonnets are even more applicable now!

Let's start off with some of the more well-known.  Here is sonnet CXVI, which you may recognize as the combined favorite of Marianne Dashwood and Mr. Willoughby.  Well, we all know how that turned out!  As an ardent reader of Shakespearean sonnets, Marianne should have known that a vast majority of them were written for mature lovers.  There's a lesson for you teens and tweens...no matter what you feel now, those old married couples have the deepest love of all.  Marianne started to understand the sonnets truly after Sense and Sensibility had finished it's last chapter.

Ahem...so back to the sonnet...

CXVI

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments.  Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,

That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

  If this be error, and upon me prov'd,

  I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.

<<Sigh>>  I must admit, there are days when I feel like Time's bending sickle has hacked down my beauty!  Isn't it good to know that with real love it doesn't matter so much what you look like as what you are?

Mommy's Little 'Helper'

by Hannah, inspired by real life, of course!

I think I'll help out my Mommy today.
I won't play around, I'll just help her all day.

Here's what I'll do first to show her I care.
I'll put this grape jelly all over my hair.

My Mommy loves when I stand on the table.
I'll drink from these cups; I know I am able.

These crayons are so pretty just lying around.
I'll use them to color the wall and the ground.

This paper goes in the potty...pull out a bit more...
Uh-oh, she's coming...dump it here on the floor.

These blocks are much nicer spread out in Mom's room.
These petals smell nice when they're picked off the bloom.

Hmmm...there's something smelly coming up from somewhere.
It feels kind of squishy on my back, but I don't care.

I don't think I'll trouble my Mom for a snack.
I'll grab my own from the trash, and then put it right back.

Poor Mommy's so tired and smelly today!
I bet she's glad I could help her instead of play.

Keepin' It Real, part 4

I am not sure my scale can survive-ah
Another dose of anything Godiva.

...but I'm willing to give it a shot!

Keepin' It Real, Part 3

It would be really nice

if I'd fix up my hair.

But it's just me and the kids,

and they really don't care.

After the holidays...

The family has gone,
now naps are required.
I ought to get cleaning,
but we're ALL rather tired.

The candy was mounded
in piles for consuming.
I stayed in my pajamas
with only minimal grooming.

With love and affection
my family is blessed.
We live in a house
very merrily messed.

Linked with Friday Favorite Things!

What Can I Give Him?

by Christina Rossetti


What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, 
I would bring a lamb;
If I were a wise man,
I would do my part;
Yet what can I give Him--
Give my heart.


**Editor's Note:  This is my children's favorite Christmas poem...at least for this year.

The Adoration of the Wise Men

Saw you never in the twilight, When the sun had left the skies, Up in heaven the clear stars shining, Through the gloom like silver eyes? So of old the wise men watching, Saw a little stranger star, And they knew the King was given, And they follow'd it from far. Heard you never of the story, How they cross'd the desert wild, Journey'd on by plain and mountain, Till they found the Holy Child? How they open'd all their treasure, Kneeling to that Infant King, Gave the gold and fragrant incense, Gave the myrrh in offering? Know ye not that lowly Baby Was the bright and morning star, He who came to light the Gentiles, And the darken'd isles afar? And we too may seek his cradle, There our heart's best treasures bring, Love, and Faith, and true devotion, For our Saviour, God, and King. - by Cecil Frances Alexander

Keepin' It Real, part 2

There is clutter and dirt

and dishes and laundry.

I need to get cleaning,

but spend more time reading.

No, this is not really my house...Don't worry, Andy!

Lines on Being a Landlord

(This is a poem for my parents...both landlords in their own right...this is what I've learned about it!)

In Apartment one, they're drunk all day
In Apartment two, they're drunk all night.
They're not so bad in Apartment three,
In Apartment four, they always fight.

The police came out to Apartment five,
A weird smell comes from Apartment six
Apartment seven is really clever
At not-paying-my-rent type tricks.

There's ten people living in Apartment eight,
Ten animals in Apartment nine,
They run and scatter when I show up
because they have to pay a fine.

Apartment ten is the best of all
For they've torn large holes in all the floors.
Silly owner, don't you know
That every piece of fault is yours?

I work a lot, without much pay,
I replace the floor in Apartment ten.
I think I'd like to sell this place,
But not right now...I don't know when.

Keepin' It Real...pt. 1

If my house were more quiet,

I think I might diet.

But when squabbles won't budge,

I want to eat fudge.

My Haunted House

by My Mom after our visit

I don't want to wipe off the high chair tray.
I'll leave it go for just one more day.
Maybe that way Allie's face will stay
In my mind, with her toothy grin.


The plants to their regular stand repair.
No more blockade of basement door or stair.
No aroma of diapers to raise one's hair
Or show how full our home has been.


No toy cars to step on in the morn.
Coloring books the table no longer adorn.
The floor's swept clear of cereal and corn.
Every step on a crumb said, "Grandma, I love you."


Swimming laps is too quiet and boring now.
Where is my little man and his pal Kachow?
Does he like the farm because beef comes from a cow?
Reading books without Scott's help isn't as fun to do.


Silly giggles and hugs are Cara's cadeaux.
Absently calling ME "Mom" makes my heart glow.
Malicious butterflies should be avoided, as you well know.
There's no need to fear; Underdog is here!


The kids dressed up snazzy for church on Sunday--
Taking a walk or going out in the dirt to play--
A beautiful song, verse, or poem to say--
These missing things make my day too severe.


I'm glad Andy on the phone makes Hannah happy still.
Please take home an old movie and our extra dill.
(Now a dishwasher load takes two days to fill!)
Communion over chocolate and movies will keep


Till the kids are in bed, if I can stay awake.
I tried very hard for my dear daughter's sake.
Except for these memories, my clean house makes me ache.
The blessings of family take a lifetime to reap.




***Editor's Note:  What a great remembrance of our trip!  So many of these details could be changed by next year!  Maybe they'll be cleaner and not into cars and no longer scared of butterflies.  Well, at least Mom can count on me...blessings from chocolate are much more immediate.

A Rhyme for my Homecoming...

Upon my return
I really did strive
Some poem to write
Of our brief westward flight.


Our great tale of travel,
Swell places we've tread
But now that I'm home
My poor brain's half dead.


Oh well...maybe next time!