Strategic Compulsory Visitation or How to Get Your Kids to Come and See You

by my Mom (This is scarily true...Sheesh!)

If, to see your newest grandchild you are wishin',

Send your offspring on a long distance expedition.

We'll share our plan to bring the thing about,

And you'll discover whether you have any clout.

Now this is the truth- It is not perjury-

All you have to do is to schedule a surgery.

 

If your youngest grandson has you besotted,

Have the doctor roto-rooter your carotid.

If your smiley granddaughter needs to be brung,

Just tell the surgeon to remove your lung.

If your namesake has your birthday baby stolen,

Merely go in the hospital and bisect your colon.

 

Whether you're aching to see your son or daughter,

Remember that blood is thicker than water!