Thursday, April 28, 2011

Treacherous Waters, Part 2

The walk to work was a brief one.  A loft apartment for sale above the job he was offered was a selling point for him.  When he accepted the position, it was with the many minutes he would save commuting in mind.  Just think how many subpoints he could accomplish in the quiet of his own home, rather than in the noisy subway!  Another organizational triumph.

His desk was at the rear of the office, facing away from the windows, an angle he preferred.  The distraction of the pedestrian traffic would interfere with his performance at work.  Today, however, Heathcliff spun in his chair to observe the people outside.  He watched in silence, mentally adding notes to his "Qualifications of a Potential Mate" memorandum.  His statuesque concentration, however effective, was distracting to his coworkers.  Jeffrey Beale was an accountant at the next desk.  The sudden appearance of Heathcliff near his cubicle was unnerving.

"Heath, do you know how creepy you are right now?" he blurted.  "Can you impersonate a manequin at your own desk?".

Heathcliff snapped back into reality.  "Oh, yes, certainly," he stammered, unconscious of the embarrasment he should have felt. "I was just...".  He paused, glancing at Jeffrey.  "Never mind."

Jeffrey was generally not a man of sensitivity.  He spent the bulk of his post-work time watching sports, boxing, and consuming foods that would make Michelle Obama's heart break.  It was very odd to see Heathcliff pause mid task, though.  His curiosity was piqued.

"Heath, what is it?  I've never seen you so..."  What?  Unnerved...too calm. "So...distracted."

Heathcliff blushed.  To him lack of attention was a cardinal sin.  Focus was key to accomplishment.  "I'm sorry, Jeffrey, I was actually pondering something of great import to me."

Jeffrey leaned forward in his chair.  He wasn't sure what 'import' meant.

"You see," Heathcliff continued, "I'm trying to find myself a wife."

Jeffrey's mouth opened slightly, for it had never occured to him that a man like this had any romantic DNA in his interesting assumption coming from Jeffrey.  Jeffrey rubbed the stubble on his chin.  "Well, uh, are you dating someone?"

A new thought.  "Why no, I've never been on a date before.  Could you help me?"

A bachelor himself, Jeffrey was a little intimidated at the prospect.  He soon realized that even his dim romantic sensibilities were more likely to charm a woman than Heathcliff's, so he agreed.

"How utterly fantastic, my good coworker!" Heathcliff exclaimed. "Do you by any chance have a list of appropriate females in the vicinity?".

Jeffrey sighed, he would definitely need some help.

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