Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Sentimental Christmas

Okay, grab your hankies, Moms.   This one will make you well up a little...or maybe it's just me.  Look at this painting titled "Her First Christmas" by Robert Gemmel  Hutchison.


Isn't that sweet?  I love her little round blushed cheek.  I remember all of my babies at this stage, overheated and exhausted with the excitement of the activity, lights, and dare I admit...even egg nog.  The toddlers run around smiling, squeaking merrily, until they collapse in a heap like this picture at the end of the day.  What a cool father Robert Gemmell Hutchison must have been.  This painting is way more creative and memorable than a "Baby's first Christmas" onesie or sleeper!  Not that I'm knocking it...I think all my kids have one!

Wipe your tears, Moms.  Remember your precious ones like this next time one of them tries to eat tinsel off your tree!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Word of the Week, Man Phrase Edition 3

I have to say, I'm a lot more comfortable using man phrases since I began chronicling their meanings in my word of the week category.  One of the reasons I have avoided using man terms is because I've been unsure what boundaries they require.  When is it appropriate to say boo-yah!, for instance?

Here is another man term that has had me scratching my head for a little bit.

a hot mess


Okay...just so you know...this has nothing to do with temperature.  Here's the definition that I have concluded from contextual usage...

hot mess: n. a confused situation, something that is abnormally cluttered, a person who is overwhelmed by emotion.


Isn't it efficient of men to use one term for so many meanings?  We women would probably have seventeen separate terms for these definitions!

Here are my sample sentences:

The young girl's not-so-subtle evasion tactics led the Mom to assume the room was, as she suspected, a hot mess. (Again, an instance taken from real life).


The perfect storm of chocolate abstinence, lack of sleep, and football viewing caused the young mother's emotions to erupt until her entire family saw that she was indeed a hot mess.


The woeful mismanagement of Mr. Ling caused Randy and his unfortunate coworkers to scratch their heads in wonder at the hot mess the company had become.  (This too has been taken from real life, but the names have been changed to protect the innocent...and the guilty!)

Monday, December 19, 2011

So Sweet...

I have a theory.  I've been thinking through the deliberate placement of words like "Angel" and "Adorable" on baby clothes.

"I love Mommy" her bib declares.

 I'm pretty sure manufacturers put it there to remind you how cute your baby really is next time you see her splashing in the toilet.  <sigh>

I'm sure that each child has been ten times worse than normal every time I dressed them with "Mommy's Little Sweetheart" across the onesie.

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Adoration of the Wise Men



Saw you never in the twilight,
When the sun had left the skies,
Up in heaven the clear stars shining,
Through the gloom like silver eyes?
So of old the wise men watching,
Saw a little stranger star,
And they knew the King was given,
And they follow'd it from far.

Heard you never of the story,
How they cross'd the desert wild,
Journey'd on by plain and mountain,
Till they found the Holy Child?
How they open'd all their treasure,
Kneeling to that Infant King,
Gave the gold and fragrant incense,
Gave the myrrh in offering?

Know ye not that lowly Baby
Was the bright and morning star,
He who came to light the Gentiles,
And the darken'd isles afar?
And we too may seek his cradle,
There our heart's best treasures bring,
Love, and Faith, and true devotion,
For our Saviour, God, and King.
- by Cecil Frances Alexander

Thursday, December 15, 2011

A Band of Merry Kiddos

I've been hunting around for some Christmas artwork to add into my very random collection of artwork.  I wanted to find some pieces that are relative to the holidays today...no small task when I only post artwork with expired copyrights.  At least I thought it would be hard.  Amazingly, I was able to find a plethora (use that word today--it makes you feel smart) of paintings of interest.

Here's the first...


It's called "Christmas Caroling" by Kate Greenaway.  I've done one of her pictures before because the kids in them are just so cute and they remind me of my own chubby-cheeked cuties.  Just a minute...(pause)...okay, I'm back.  I just needed to go squeeze my squishy little girl.  She was the only one I could catch!

I love their over-sized coats and the clear sky.  Wouldn't you love a crew of kids singing to you on Christmas eve?  The instruments may be a little much considering their age, but then maybe that's a personal quirk of mine since I've taught fifth grade band before.  However, when I try not to hear beginning violin scratches along with the painting, I find it completely charming.  No one carols anymore...

What do you think?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

An interesting political philosophy

''Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.''

—Groucho Marx

Monday, December 12, 2011

Play Time

The soldiers stiffly circled the flagpole, halting to attention around the American flag.  They stood in silence until the large-headed Captain began, "Ready, men?  Attention, Salute, Pledge...."  They all pledged allegiance in their manly voices.

The Captain continued, "Now, we're going to sing."  He then began a very manly rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner".  The soldiers joined in with dignified gusto.  In their patriotic fervor, they began to clap and yell, "Go Blue!".  Then, it was time for the action to begin.

The men left the camp site for the vastly carpeted terrain below.

"Line up, men!"  the Captain bellowed.

They immediately obeyed, ordering themselves into ranks.  The jeeps and tanks joined them as well, bringing up the rear, slightly behind where the action would soon take place.  The sound of engines roared in the distance as the evil cars began to approach.  They rounded the corner and proceeded to the carpeted terrain, revving their engines to jeer the alert soldiers.  The soldiers stood still for a moment, waiting for the go-ahead from their Captain.

Suddenly, the wicked blue car screeched into the ranks of soldiers, burning rubber all the way.  The Captain yelled at the soldiers, shouting at them to fight back.  The soldiers pulled out their guns, bazookas, and bayonets.  Manful grunts and artillery screamed through the air.  The tanks chugged around and opened fire on the line of villain cars.  The cars began to panic and were about to make their escape when the soldiers broke their ranks and began to jump on top of them.  The air whistled with the brutal sounds of hand to hand combat as the soldiers unleashed their fury on the enemy cars.

Suddenly, an enormous white horse with rainbow colored hair entered the scene with none other than Buzz Lightyear on her back.  The zealous space knight charged into the fray, clobbering the combatant cars with his space laser.  Sparks flew through the air on his right side, then his left.  Buzz turned his white stallion and had come face to face with the evil blue car.  Their eyes locked in a daring game of chess.  The blue car suddenly began to spin his wheels, then sped toward Buzz, leaving tracks in the carpeted terrain behind him.  Buzz's stallion whinnied ferociously, then charged toward the dangerous car.  They were getting closer and closer...

"Hi Buzz.  Are you ready to get married?" came the ill-timed comment from the festooned, bridal Barbie.

"Cara!!!!!" yelled the Captain.